We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
