I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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