I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
