mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
only you would photoshop your dick
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
