its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
