Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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