I bet he comes in French.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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