i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
