AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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