it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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