my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
