It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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