Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
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