We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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