so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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