he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
