i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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