So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
