Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
