She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
operation harelip BJ is a go
We got so high we made milksteak
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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