dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
