I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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