I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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