He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
