the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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