Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
