What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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