batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
