Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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