we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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