Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
