we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
