bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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