i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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