Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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