well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
