Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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