I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
