just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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