Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
