Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
