THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
