Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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