I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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