I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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