What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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