Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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