love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
