Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
