It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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