did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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