my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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