turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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