If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Randomize
